Monday, February 18, 2008

Sign on Truck - Yeah, Right!

I saw this sign on the back of a truck as I was driving in to work today. It reads:

STAY 200 FEET BACK
NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR
VEHICLE DAMAGE

I imagined the back of the truck flying open and all sorts of who-knows-what flying out and totally screwing up my car. I stop the driver to get his insurance information and he just points to the sign. "Sorry, not responsible."

I then imagined quickly grabbing a pen and paper and writing out a sign that says:

NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR MURDER

And then cracking his head open with a baseball bat. Think it would hold up in court? What kind of idiot at the trucking company thought by making some dumb-ass sign that he could absolve themselves of all responsibility for being reckless with their loads?

Morons everywhere.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

I Really Don't Get 50 Cent


There's a brief article in a recent Time Magazine about the possible use of steroids by Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson. I don't really care much about that. If he wants to bulk up, then fine. Of course there are probably millions of impressionable youth out there who will want to emulate his look, but that's fodder for a different rant.

What I don't get is the silly, laughable "look" of 50 Cent. I know I'm not anywhere close to his demographic and I'm very distant from his culture, but he just looks like a sorry parody of someone's lame idea of inner-city cool. Is it really appealing to drop the pants down to show the white boxers? And what's with the skullcap and tilted Yankees cap? It looks so calculated to be "hip" - but it's just lame. I know a lot of people think he is the most iconic representation of their style, but I can't do anything but laugh at how silly he looks.

Sorry, I don't get it. Never will. Not sure I want to.

The Gnome is a Jerk


Well, now there's another airline that I really don't want to ever fly again. This time it's US Airways. The strange, ironic thing is that I booked my latest trip on this airline specifically to avoid flying on United. In many ways, they ended up being worse.

But I really want to blame Travelocity more than US Airways. I booked the flights through them, and their system is really messed up. Even more so than the airline's system.

Here's the sad story.

I booked a flight to and from Miami to attend a professional conference. I decided to use Travelocity because I wanted to find alternative flights than the usual United ones that I would normally take. Everything seemed to go fine with the booking and it was only on the day of the flight that things went bad.

I got an e-mail from Travelocity letting me know my flight was canceled and they had re-booked me on two other alternatives. I really don't know why they did this, unless they were trying to give me a choice. So I called them. Of course the rep could barely speak English and put me on hold at least three times, but at the end of the call he told me I was booked on a later US Airways flight and I would connect in Charlotte on American Airlines. However, when I tried to print my boarding pass online, it wouldn't accept my confirmation code. So I called US Airways. They told me I was on a different flight. Nice, huh?

So I went to the airport and got on the flight to Charlotte. I gave them my one bag, and yes, that was the last I've seen of it. It NEVER showed up in Miami and no one has been able to track it. Gone. No one knows what city it's in or if it ever even made it onto an airplane. I've made at least six calls about it, and no one can tell me a thing. I'm not even sure if it's the responsibility of American or US Airways!

OK, so I spent three days in Miami without a change of clothes or a razor. The hotel gave me a toothbrush, and I finally had to go buy some clean underwear and socks.

For some reason, probably because I flew from Charlotte to Miami on American Airlines (booked by US Airways) they canceled my return ticket. It's that old computer bugaboo that says if you don't take the last leg of your flight as the computer expects you to, you must not have ever gotten to your destination and don't need the return flight. United has done this to me. Now US Airways. According to this "logic" I was still in Charlotte, probably just sitting in the airport hoping one day to get to Miami. Idiots!

I called US Airways and after about 30 minutes on the phone got re-booked on my return flight. Well, guess what? At the airport the flight was delayed enough that I would not make the connection in Pittsburgh to Dulles! So they re-booked me yet again, on a flight four hours later.

So the return trip took 12 hours from the time I showed up at the airport until I finally got back to Washington. And no, I still don't have my luggage.

Air travel has gotten to be such a nightmare lately. I wish I could drive everywhere I have to go, but there's a big difference between traveling 60 miles per hour and 400. It's incredible stressful and has become a thoroughly demeaning process!