Thank the Umps for Not Knowing Rules

The sporting world is all abuzz lately about what happened in a women's college softball game between Western Oregon and Central Washington on April 27th. It's an incredible, touching tale of true sportsmanship.

A rather diminutive senior for Western Oregon, Sara Tucholsky, hit the first home run of her college career with two on in a 0-0 playoff game. In her exuberance somehow she missed touching first base. As she went back to the bag, she managed to completely destroy her knee. The umpires said if she could get back to first base then Western Oregon could let a pinch runner complete the bases, but that Tucholsky would be credited with a two-run RBI single, and not a home run. If anyone from her team touched her, she would be called out.

So two players from Central Washington stepped in and carried Tucholsky around the diamond, helping her touch each base. What a wonderful example of what sports is all about! It puts to shame all the jerk coaches and parent-managers out there to whom there is no reason to play anything other than to win. I can think of several "coaches" for whom I have either played or competed who would have used this opportunity to argue that the runs shouldn't count, the batter should be called out and that they are going to only play the remainder of the game under protest.

The sad part of the story is that the umpires got it wrong. If it weren't for their ignorance, this wonderful story of respect and compassion wouldn't have reached its huge level of popularity. You see, the rule clearly states:

If an injury to a batter-runner or runner prevents her from proceeding to an awarded base, the ball is dead and the substitution can be made. The substitute must legally touch all awarded or missed bases not previously touched.

When she fell to the ground, all Western Oregon had to do it pull a substitute runner from the bench to complete the trip around the bases. Tucholsky would be credited with her home run and this never would have made it to the national media.

I guess I'm glad the umpires didn't know the rules as well as they should. It's such a fantastic moment that I'm sure it will be replayed many more times in years to come. It should. And every coach and team that forgets how wonderful sports can be should look at the photo of Central Washington's two players helping their opponent achieve her magical, memorable moment.

An excellent article about this game can be found on ESPN.com written by Graham Hays.

Marketing Morons at Vitamin Water

There's a new, wonderful example on television right now that supports my position that marketers are by and large total idiots. It's for Vitamin Water, which is a rather strange product in and of itself, but I know it's gaining in popularity. I guarantee the reason is that it's water that has vitamins in it - not this moronic commercial and the "strategy" behind it.

It starts with two guys acting as sports commentators but they are announcing a televised performance by the National Symphony. However, the conductor has been replaced by Curtis Jackson, aka 50 Cent. OK, so the first attempt is to appeal to guys who watch sports - I guess. I don't know why else they start the spot this way.

Then 50 Cent takes a sip of Vitamin Water while some other rapper replaces the first viola. Not quite sure what this is supposed to signify.

Then, as 50 Cent starts conducting the symphony the beat changes to his "hit" In Da Hood. The announcer actually say he "integrates" his song. A black rap artist "integrates" what looks to be a pretty much all-white symphony. How do I even express in words the stupidity of this choice of words?

After some business about a trombone player, the commercial goes to a product shot that does nothing to identify the product, its brand name or logo.

So after first trying to appeal to sports guys, they try to appeal to young, urban black men. Then sophisticated symphony-goers, then....heck, I don't know. By trying to mix styles and appeal to everyone, they end up appealing to no one. It's just a shoddy, ill-conceived mess that makes me cringe every time I see it.

I guarantee the appeal of this product has far more to do with its healthful benefits than with 50 Cent drinking it before he conducts a symphony orchestra. They need to position it for what it is and for why it will click with the American public. Right now, they are clueless and completely wasting their marketing budget.